Dudes in America are losing the battle against obesity. We are more at risk of heart disease and diabetes than ever, and belly fat may be far more dangerous than we knew. One solution could be staring us right in the eye, so to speak, and it is the simplest health test that a man can take.
No trips to a clinic, no bloods tests, and no having to raise your heartrate on exercise equipment. Nope. All this health test requires is about 2 seconds of your time.
Here are the steps you’ll need to take:
Step #1 of the Simplest Health Test for Men:
While standing in the shower, look down.
That’s it. There is no step #2.
What did you see? Was it your glorious bit of man-junk bursting with excitement for another day, or was it your tub of a gut waiting for a refill of pizza and beer?
If you triumphantly answered “MAN-JUNK,” good for you! You’re in pretty good shape. Keep fighting the good fight and burning those calories.
But, if you’re like many dudes, the belly is currently the dominant feature between your neck and knees. This is a down-and-dirty warning that your health is in danger. One study has shown that waist size is even better at predicting heart disease risk than the commonly used BMI ratio of height to weight.
So What Does It Mean if I Can’t See My Junk?
If you can’t see your junk because your gut is in the way, you might be 5 times more susceptible to cardiovascular disease which means an increased risk of stroke, coronary artery disease and Type 2 diabetes. That’s some serious stuff Dude!
And don’t blame it on shrinkage! Your frightened turtle should not be used to explain away your caloric intake and lack of exercise. Man-up and accept responsibility for the shape you’ve slipped into over the years.
What Can Lazy Bastards Like Me Do to Lose Weight?
An excellent question, and fortunately there are some pretty simple steps to take to start putting your junk back into the line of sight.
I strongly encourage your to NOT overshoot your fitness goals at first. Buying a home fitness machine, joining a gym, and embracing the latest diet craze might eventually enter into your long-term plan, but for now, keep it simple Dude.
Try these 5 baby-step ideas first and then work your way up to the more extreme (and costly) endeavors:
- Go for a walk: do this everyday and get to know your neighborhood. Your dog will love it. Or perhaps you can fit in a 30-minute walk during your lunch break.
- Pretend elevators don’t exist: from now on, only use stairs. This one simple act can add a couple thousand steps to your daily count and make a big difference to your calories burned.
- Always park in the back of the of parking lot: this will force you to walk farther to your destination and back and is a sneaky way to add more steps to your day.
- Cut out soda or calorie-heavy drinks: soda is the great demon of our lifetime. Dropping soda from your diet is one of the most important changes you can make to your overall health. Drink water with a squirt of citrus flavoring (lime, lemon, etc.) instead.
- If you must drink alcohol, switch to lite beer: this change can shave 50 calories off your day which is 350 for the week and helps move the dial towards a slimmer you.
Can Seeing My Junk Save Me Money?
Yes, it can! Did you notice how much all of the above fitness ideas will cost you? That’s right Dude — nothing! In fact, cutting out the soda will even save you money. Getting healthy can actually put more cash in your pocket each month!
Soon enough, you’ll retake the simplest health test ever and rejoice finally seeing your old friend without using a mirror! Who knows, with your slimmer body, others might want to take a look as well, so you’ll want to read up on some surefire tips on dating. Way to go Dude!