[This article is an excerpt from the book “Divorced and Dating: The Dude’s Guide to Starting Over and Attracting Wonderful Women” by Dr. Gregg Akkerman]
Who Wants an Old-School Dude?
As an old-school kind of Dude who is divorced and dating, you have never been in a better position to attract women.
Trends come and go constantly. Food, fashion, technology—whatever’s hot today is forgotten 6 months later. But a healthy guy in jeans and a t-shirt holding hands with his girl never goes out of style. It is the male archetype above all others that simply doesn’t fade with time.
In fact, these days Dudes like you are the last group of men still standing tall and unscathed. Let’s do the math.
The So-Called Competition for the Divorced and Dating
Bad boys might attract young girls, but the kind of wonderful woman you want to date has “been there; done that” and knows better. They are looking for grown men who know how to commit and follow through on promises.
Powerful men are on hit list these days as the primary #MeToo abusers. They are in hiding, and in comparison, a regular Dude with his life together looks pretty damn good.
Rich men, it turns out, usually aren’t that rich. Financial wealth is not measured by how much you make each month. It’s all about how much you save each month. A regular Dude with no debt is worth much more to a woman than a “rich” guy saddled in debt.
Body builders are fun to look at but, any woman of substance knows they will always be less important than gym-time if they date one of those guys. A Dude is much better off just having a basic level of fitness that leaves you trim but not fanatical about workout time.
Stylish players come off as having all the moves and answers but this is all based on the false premise that they are smarter than women. Today’s wonderful woman may allow a “player” to make his moves on her, but she knows perfectly well what’s going on. The regular Dude with his “you get what you see” attitude is a refreshing change for women who are tired of being played.
Baggage is something everyone has to one degree or another, and there are steps you can take to minimize its effect on dating. A Dude with a baggage-reducing plan backed up by action is always going to come off as more attractive.
The Last Dude Standing
Once we eliminate all those transient male archetypes from the roster of divorced and dating competition, there’s just one type of guy left with his balls intact—THE NEW WOLRD DUDE!
Keep in mind that being a classic Dude is no excuse for living in the past. You need to have an appreciation of topical events and try some new things now and then.
For example, I think sushi is disgusting, but I’m happy to go to a sushi bar with someone special. I’m sure I can find something on the menu to enjoy. Saki comes to mind.
And personally, I don’t believe that using an RV loaded with home comforts should be called camping. To me, camping means a tent, freezing your ass off, and complaining about a sore back for 2 weeks. But I’m willing to go take a date to an RV show and see what all the fuss is about.
Those are a couple of the things I’m willing to do as a Dude to compromise. There are plenty more. How about you?
–Dr. Gregg Akkerman is a multiple #1 Best-selling author and founder of GreggAkkerman.com for men seeking an awesome life.