Dick Pics Are Still Okay Since the #MeToo Movement, Right?

Dick Pics Are Still Okay Since the #MeToo Movement, Right?

NO! YOU CAN’T STILL SEND DICK PICS!

AND YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE, ASSHOLE!

The proliferation of the “dick pic” since the development of the smart phone is stunning. How and why did such a practice ever become normalized by the collective male society? Really Dudes? This is the best we’ve come up with to impress women in the digital age?

I’ve had several female friends tell me that in the act of online dating, it’s simply a matter of when, rather than if, a completely unrequested dick pic comes their way.

Let’s get this said in stark, unmistakable terms for all Dudes:

The kind of classy woman you should be pursuing DOES NOT want to see unsolicited pictures of your junk! PERIOD.

Of all the women I talked to about this subject, you know how many considered your dick pic a sexy turn on? ZERO! That’s right. None. You and your mini flag pole actually set back your pursuits of impressing women.

Furthermore, you know many of those women shared those pics with their girlfriends who all laughed hysterically at your pathetic man-mushroom? ALL OF THEM!

Still thinking the dick pic is a good idea?

I have one lady friend who designed an entire comedy show based on unsolicited dick pics in which she would project the images on a screen as part of a PowerPoint presentation. Each of the precious penises would get a nick name like “Angry Inch,” or “Mr. Whiskers.” Sound like something you’d want to be featured in?

We live in an age when more men than ever are highly educated and self-aware. Information about impressing women can be found in abundance on YouTube, television, blogs, and books like this. Yet a picture of your wonder-willy is the genius plan you come up with to seal the deal? Really?

The dick pic was never a good idea to begin with, and in the #MeToo era it’s simply got to stop.

Zip up and try harder Dudes.